A place to remind you the simple things in life that really matter.

28 September 2010

Words to share with parents

I came across this article more than once yet it never stop reminding me of how I take for granted the blessings I've received sometimes. Let me share this to you;

Your Child's Love

..."These are the children God has given me..." Genesis 33:5
It's easy to complain about the things you don't have, and overlook or take for granted the things you do - simple things that enrich your life! Maybe this story by Dr James Dobson will help change your perspective. 'Some time ago a friend of mine punished his three-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became upset when she tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier over-reaction. But his anger flared again when he opened the box and found it empty. He shouted at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside?" The little girl looked up at him in tears and said, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it. I filled it with my love and I wrapped it up just for you." He was crushed. Quickly he put his arms around her, hugged her and asked for her forgiveness. My friend told me that he kept that gold box by his bed for years, and whenever he got discouraged he'd take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it in there. In a very real sense, each of us parents has been given a gold container filled with the unconditional love of our children. There's not a more precious possession anyone could hold.'

Source: The Word For Today
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25 September 2010

A Reverse for 'love' and 'hatred'

For some, to show appreciation or love towards the very people dear to their hearts is hard. It is almost as if they take for granted those who are most important to them, but when it comes to hate or dislike someone or something, the process goes smoothly it is so easy to do.

Is it because it takes so little effort to hate and so much more effort to love?

If so, God, I ask for a reverse for ‘love’ and ‘hatred’. Let it be so easy to love, and so hard to hate. Amen.
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Almost all the time we are under control of something or someone. Going through life trying not to miss anything, it is so choking you almost can not breathe. What this person is going to say? , what that person is going to think about this?, drained all your energy and there’s no joy left. You are just a robot going through the same old 'to-do list' day and night.

The pattern of life in each individual has been set up the moment we start having responsibilities. A little at a time, we subject ourselves to almost everything and everyone surrounding us, in order to fulfil the status we are holding. While at work, you are under control of the boss and the working environment (that includes colleagues, timing, people you are dealing with, etc.). While at home, one way or the other, you are under control of the very people you are living with. The repeat-occurrence goes on and on wherever you go.

Is freedom something we have to fight for?

Definitely YES

 Understand this; to ever gain that freedom, you need to start from within. Look at yourself as a person, not a machine and give yourself due respect. It is important that you learn to respect yourself because it is only then that others will respect you. Others do not need to understand or agree with what you do all the time, they just need to respect you as a person and therefore respect your decisions on how you want to live your life.

Here are some ways you can use to build up self-respect and to gain respect from others;

  1. Speak your mind: Thinking too much whether you should open up and speak your mind, you will end up keeping quiet all the time. Before you know it, people start thinking you don’t have a say, or worse, you don’t have a mind of your own. Be very honest when you speak out, remember that you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling, you just want to make your point heard. That way, your words will be well-thought out, gentle but firm and honest that it catches attentions as well as commands respect.
  2.  Have your stand: Always base your every action on where you stand. Don’t let emotions take you places where you feel lonely and cold. Be considerate but firm in what you want for your life in any given situation.
  3.   Be yourself: To be able to do this, you need to know exactly who you are and what you want. Compromising can be a tool of peace only when you hold firm to the knowledge of ‘you’ as a person and the length you’re willing to go for the very purpose. Never disregard yourself and be miserable just so others can be happy.
  4.  Take control of your own life: Do all things and duties with your best interest. Be on top of things that concern you. Do not lack in anything or hesitate when it comes to your own affairs, or else someone else will step in and tell you how to live your life.

Freedom comes when you take full control of your life. Get on the driving seat and hold on tight to the steering wheel. When you take charge, others will have no choice but to back off.

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When Nothing You Do Is Good Enough

Have you ever felt as though you are burning candle from both ends trying to get everything properly handled, when you’ve done your best and keep trying every single day, still it is not so in other people’s eyes? You don’t feel appreciated furthermore you are even to blame for most things?

You are not alone.

Allowed yourself to feel the discouragement (who wouldn’t?), but do not be discouraged. Never give up on doing things you know is right. It is also crucial that you do not put yourself down and start telling yourself you are not good enough. Acknowledgement and appreciation from people is good, but it is not compulsory as you can not and will never be able to force opinions into people’s mind. Trying to do so will only drain your energy and rob yourself off your happiness.

Everybody has their own different view points and understanding. We all see things in parts. It is in vain to expect anyone at all to understand you fully. In most cases, this doesn’t mean you are not loved, but rather they have different way of looking at things.

Here are some things you can do to lift up your spirit;
  1.    Forgive: It hurts to be blamed for things that you’ve put all your effort into, but holding on to the feeling will only weight heavily on your mind. Let it go.
  2.   Look out the window: Is it sunny outside? Have all the plants and trees outside changed colours and look even more beautiful? Take your mind away from the moment of hurt. Pay attention instead to things around you and open your eyes to beautiful things.
  3.     Ignore your point of view for a moment: If the other person is someone you care about, it is worth trying to look at the situation from where he/she stands. There’re many sides to the story. Bits and pieces of life here and there can add up to something unpleasant. Don’t forget that we human beings came to this world with a whole lot of emotions, and none of us know how to fully control them.
  4.      Write: Put pen to paper. At the point where you feel you might explode if you don’t vent it all out. Go ahead and do just that (Don’t forget to tear them to pieces and throw them away after).
  5.        Go for a walk: Find a place you know there’s a spot where you can easily shout out at the top of your lung without anybody hearing it. Take a long walk there and calm yourself down. If you still have the urge to cry out, go to that spot and shout it out. 
  6.        Understand the whole point: Understand that the worse thing you can do to hurt yourself is to depend your emotions on man, have expectation on man, and rely completely on man to satisfy you emotionally. Your peace should come from ‘you’ and the understanding that ‘God loves you and he knows every good thing you’ve done.’ All your good intentions, HE knows and appreciates them.’

Go on doing things with good intentions and with all you have. You are not doing them for people to praise you; you are doing them so you know you’ve done your best. It is only then that other people’s opinion can no longer hurt you.

 Good luck.
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22 September 2010

Exhibition of Fireworks

Colourful lights, colourful lights
Especially beautiful in the night
Different patterns, different style
Telling their stories in just a short while

Colourful lights, colourful lights
Dancing round in the starry night
Dreamlike patterns for admiring eyes
But they are there only for a short while

It is true that all of us love fireworks. It's magical moment makes us want to believe, if only for one second, that life can be that beautiful. We take our time to look at them one after the others hoping the show will never end. Hoping the moment would last forever. 
But we do know too well to believe so, don't we?
Magical moments never last so long.
It's existence would last long enough just for us to know they exist, but not enough for us to hold on to forever. 
It's existence would count it's own time and soon vanished.
So what are we going to do about that fact?
Remember to cherish and value those moments, those people, those things that are important to our hearts.

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16 September 2010

A little appreciation, a little happier

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." ~Frederick Keonig 

We often view appreciation from our side as something we have to give, while in fact, it is one of the things that give you the opportunity to be truly happy. If we take a good look at our lives, we'll find many things to be thankful for, not hypocritically, but realistically the way it really is.

The same goes for family aspect. Because of the nature of family structure, we tend to overlook what is so obviously wonderful and focus on the hassle of being together. The fact that you have to be under the same roof with certain group of people day in day out driving you nuts and you say something like,
 'I need some space.', 'I need my "me" time.', or the like, not knowing that you are blessed with people who care and always be there for you.

Do you feel annoyed when your kid(s) ask you question one after the other? 
Your kid is keening on learning. Do you want them to be otherwise?

Do you find it hard to pay full attention to what your kid(s), your spouse, or your parent is saying?
Is there anything more important than being there for the people you love? Is it your job, your favorite TV program, or your plans that excludes them?

Do you find it annoying when your parents keep asking you to put on warmer cloths because the weather is getting cold?
Instead of complaining, why don't you stop for a second and let the truth that 'you are loved' sink in?

Time is flying by, and life is so short. Notice and appreciate things and people around you by imagine your life without them. That way, you'll put the things that really matter first on your list and be a little less annoyed and a little happier.

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Words For People Pleaser

When you finally realized how much time and energy has been wasted in the process of trying to please others, you immediately hate yourself. The next thing that happen (if you're lucky), you find yourself on a different path entirely, walking tall and become a bit wiser. What you've learned along the way was the fact that depending your emotions on man is never going to satisfy your being. Now you look forward and think, 'what should be my next step?' 

Sure..Congratulations.. Finally, you think you've been through a lot and learn a lot more, but is that really it?  With all the above knowledge, is it completely transforming you to be more yourself and not other people's doormat?

Answer these questions below and see for yourself;

  • 1.       Are most criticism still 'personal' to you?
  • 2.       Do you still feel that pinch of fear of rejection?
  • 3.       Do you still find it hard to express your true feelings? Maybe because you don't want to hurt others?
  • 4.       Do you still have difficulty saying 'no'?

The truth is, even when you understand the concept, stop being a people pleaser required time, energy and hard-work. Don't be surprised if it does not happen over night. You have to bare in mind that things worth having worth all the effort to acquire.

Here are some suggestions on reducing the tendency to please people unnecessarily; 
  1.  Practice being 2 seconds slower to answer: When someone ask you to do something, instead of hurry up saying 'yes' just because you don't want the person to wait for so long, stop and give yourself at least 2 seconds to think about it. You are not a robot. There's no specific time to answer to anybody. Respect your time and use it wisely. It is likely that, given more time, you'll be able to think things clearer and have proper answer to give.
  2.  Practice saying 'no': Try saying 'no' with only short reason. Don't try to lengthy explain yourself why your answer is 'no', it gives the impression that you feel guilty about doing so. Remind yourself of the fact that you as an individual have choices and make your own decision.
  3. Find time for yourself: Don't ever feel guilty of taking care of yourself or do things you like to do once in a while. It is only when you are well taken care of that you can take care of other people well.
  4. Get your priority in order and be absolutely honest: This will help greatly. Listen to your thoughts every time before you say 'yes' or 'no'. Base your reason on whether this is according to your priority or not. You don't want to just do things for others and neglect on things that are really matter to you, do you?
  5. Keep your smile modest: Smiling is good, but it could means many things other than you 'being nice'. If under any given times and situations you are smiling, it gives out the wrong message. It is absolutely OK to speak with 'as-a-matter-of-fact face' without any smile if the situation call. There is no law stated that you need to smile even when the person standing in front is stepping all over you. Don't be rude, just keep your face emotionless as your neutral mode.
Do not be afraid that people will stop liking you when you stop doing things for them. Those who do are not ones worth having in your life, and you'll even be better off without them. Go through your life knowing exactly what you want to do is one great wisdom. Remember, practice makes perfect. 
Good luck.

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