A place to remind you the simple things in life that really matter.

25 September 2010

A Reverse for 'love' and 'hatred'

For some, to show appreciation or love towards the very people dear to their hearts is hard. It is almost as if they take for granted those who are most important to them, but when it comes to hate or dislike someone or something, the process goes smoothly it is so easy to do.

Is it because it takes so little effort to hate and so much more effort to love?

If so, God, I ask for a reverse for ‘love’ and ‘hatred’. Let it be so easy to love, and so hard to hate. Amen.
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Almost all the time we are under control of something or someone. Going through life trying not to miss anything, it is so choking you almost can not breathe. What this person is going to say? , what that person is going to think about this?, drained all your energy and there’s no joy left. You are just a robot going through the same old 'to-do list' day and night.

The pattern of life in each individual has been set up the moment we start having responsibilities. A little at a time, we subject ourselves to almost everything and everyone surrounding us, in order to fulfil the status we are holding. While at work, you are under control of the boss and the working environment (that includes colleagues, timing, people you are dealing with, etc.). While at home, one way or the other, you are under control of the very people you are living with. The repeat-occurrence goes on and on wherever you go.

Is freedom something we have to fight for?

Definitely YES

 Understand this; to ever gain that freedom, you need to start from within. Look at yourself as a person, not a machine and give yourself due respect. It is important that you learn to respect yourself because it is only then that others will respect you. Others do not need to understand or agree with what you do all the time, they just need to respect you as a person and therefore respect your decisions on how you want to live your life.

Here are some ways you can use to build up self-respect and to gain respect from others;

  1. Speak your mind: Thinking too much whether you should open up and speak your mind, you will end up keeping quiet all the time. Before you know it, people start thinking you don’t have a say, or worse, you don’t have a mind of your own. Be very honest when you speak out, remember that you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling, you just want to make your point heard. That way, your words will be well-thought out, gentle but firm and honest that it catches attentions as well as commands respect.
  2.  Have your stand: Always base your every action on where you stand. Don’t let emotions take you places where you feel lonely and cold. Be considerate but firm in what you want for your life in any given situation.
  3.   Be yourself: To be able to do this, you need to know exactly who you are and what you want. Compromising can be a tool of peace only when you hold firm to the knowledge of ‘you’ as a person and the length you’re willing to go for the very purpose. Never disregard yourself and be miserable just so others can be happy.
  4.  Take control of your own life: Do all things and duties with your best interest. Be on top of things that concern you. Do not lack in anything or hesitate when it comes to your own affairs, or else someone else will step in and tell you how to live your life.

Freedom comes when you take full control of your life. Get on the driving seat and hold on tight to the steering wheel. When you take charge, others will have no choice but to back off.

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When Nothing You Do Is Good Enough

Have you ever felt as though you are burning candle from both ends trying to get everything properly handled, when you’ve done your best and keep trying every single day, still it is not so in other people’s eyes? You don’t feel appreciated furthermore you are even to blame for most things?

You are not alone.

Allowed yourself to feel the discouragement (who wouldn’t?), but do not be discouraged. Never give up on doing things you know is right. It is also crucial that you do not put yourself down and start telling yourself you are not good enough. Acknowledgement and appreciation from people is good, but it is not compulsory as you can not and will never be able to force opinions into people’s mind. Trying to do so will only drain your energy and rob yourself off your happiness.

Everybody has their own different view points and understanding. We all see things in parts. It is in vain to expect anyone at all to understand you fully. In most cases, this doesn’t mean you are not loved, but rather they have different way of looking at things.

Here are some things you can do to lift up your spirit;
  1.    Forgive: It hurts to be blamed for things that you’ve put all your effort into, but holding on to the feeling will only weight heavily on your mind. Let it go.
  2.   Look out the window: Is it sunny outside? Have all the plants and trees outside changed colours and look even more beautiful? Take your mind away from the moment of hurt. Pay attention instead to things around you and open your eyes to beautiful things.
  3.     Ignore your point of view for a moment: If the other person is someone you care about, it is worth trying to look at the situation from where he/she stands. There’re many sides to the story. Bits and pieces of life here and there can add up to something unpleasant. Don’t forget that we human beings came to this world with a whole lot of emotions, and none of us know how to fully control them.
  4.      Write: Put pen to paper. At the point where you feel you might explode if you don’t vent it all out. Go ahead and do just that (Don’t forget to tear them to pieces and throw them away after).
  5.        Go for a walk: Find a place you know there’s a spot where you can easily shout out at the top of your lung without anybody hearing it. Take a long walk there and calm yourself down. If you still have the urge to cry out, go to that spot and shout it out. 
  6.        Understand the whole point: Understand that the worse thing you can do to hurt yourself is to depend your emotions on man, have expectation on man, and rely completely on man to satisfy you emotionally. Your peace should come from ‘you’ and the understanding that ‘God loves you and he knows every good thing you’ve done.’ All your good intentions, HE knows and appreciates them.’

Go on doing things with good intentions and with all you have. You are not doing them for people to praise you; you are doing them so you know you’ve done your best. It is only then that other people’s opinion can no longer hurt you.

 Good luck.
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